Bulb

A lightbulb, simple you might think. No, this lightbulb is in the ceiling of our bedroom. I took the picture to see if my sensor is clean, a picture to delete, no shit on the sensor and it's ok to go. Delete picture.

But...I like the picture, just showing a bulb. Come to think of Edison.
These things that are completely natural to us, we expect the light to turn on when we press the switch. Thankyou Edison.

Fear

https://open.spotify.com/track/7E9rcVjE66zO7p4IwyhjBC

A week of disappointment. I have been quiet in my blog. And I have to remind myself in what world I live in. I have been hurt, deep down.
This song on Spotify says it all, in swedish though.
It's about not standing up. Being afraid to stand up and to see yourself. Hiding behind masks. Am I harsh? Usually I see life in all the grayscales, but now it's been black and white. I have some profound values that I follow and there are no grayscales. Yes, I'm hard here.

Again, after so many years in harmony, it was thrown into my face. I'm different and could be treated with disrespect, in kind words.
This blog is supposed to be about the lovely things in my life, but it's also about my reality.
Homofobia is everywhere, I get that. But it hurts when friends turn a blind eye. I have been low for the last couple of days but I will rise again. I always do.

Tomorrow we parade in Pride. For everyone.

One always stands out

Just one stands out so far. It's been a great summer if you are a tomato. Still they didn't 'come out' or mature, getting ripe, as I had wished for. I tried my best to nourish them and I gave them time, my love and I listened.
Still I had to pick them green and put them in the window, sometimes you need a little little help. One stands out.

Now, soon, we, Gothenburg/Göteborg will take over Europride from Stockholm. And I come to think of my tomatoes.

It takes time to mature, to come out. You can do it the hard way, well, I guess it's no choice really - you do it without support, from family etc. Suiciderisk is significant - do work on your folks here is highly recommended.

Or, you do it, strong and convinced and get love and the 'nourishment' that is so important to grow and to flourish, to be free.

You never know really. Everything was perfect for my tomatoes, conditions couldn't be better...but still, they struggled.

Just like coming out as a HBTQperson. But it will be alright in the end. Just trust yourself, easy to say, when you don't know who you are. But trust me. It'll work out fine. Whatever happens, trust me, you will flourish, just like my tomatoes.

Mirror

I mirror myself in you, you mirror yourself in me, maybe. We always look in mirrors, when no one is looking. I guess it is human. The cat refuses to look at herself in the mirror. So, what is it with us, humans?
We reflect eachother with eachother, without reflecting? Life itself. We compare and measure with others.
I wish we didn't use them at all. Like the cats.