Some days...

...I don't go outside and walk around in my pajamas all day long. A day of waste...no the contrary. These days are the most creative, I'm in a bubble. Just staring out into nothing from the sofa. Suddenly ideas and solutions appear. It's a necessary state to be in. I don't want to be disturbed in my room. Only need a pen and some paper to write on. Doesn't look like much, doesn't make much sense by then, but this is work. From moments like this I find myself.

Not on Facebook

If you don't have Facebook, you don't exist? In 2019. Isn't that just so sad, so bad. I'm sure there are people like me, who just couldn't do it anymore. And even those that never started. How can I find you? Well, like I used to do I guess. I travelled. Met friends. Shared addresses. Shared beds. Shared lovers. Shared a smoke. Shared life.

Some courtesy, if I may

The Reviewer or the Gallery or the Museum or the Magazine smile back through the lines in their response to the request. Ah, there is a small strike of light!

"Please, please send us your new book, we would looove to see it! And of course blablablabla...blablablAAA!"...

Finally a nice response, I think, and with some courtesy. As it should goddamnit! Worked my ass off for this book, well my head as well. What's the difference, hey!?

Days pass, weeks, years. So much for that bullshitsmile that got my book for free. Hope it will bite your ass one day and then I'll just hum a little tune by Amy or Patti maybe...

At VOID Athens

I've had a bad cold for a couple of days and spent my time under a blanket most of the time. The weather, so far, in Athens didn't help. But it doesn't matter at all. This is Ulrika Walmark, a new friend, posing for me at VOID. What a great venue and very nice people. Check it out, VOID Athens. That is a long way from the cold and hard climate in Sweden for a photographer like myself. Very different. Warm. Friendly. Just what I needed.

Rubina

I have to write about Rubina. She has been living in the streets of Exarchia for eight years with her husband. They are from Armenia. They live in a tent. I wanted to give her some euros, money, but she declined...

Power of the People

I'm in Exarchia in Athens. The area that was taken by the anarchists. But also drugdealers. That, to be true, feels bad. Although it makes me ponder about the power people have when going together. Doing things together. Graffiti putting out the messages. Squatted houses.
Sweden is very individualistic. People make enough money not to care about others.
Here you find anarchistic places to have a simple meal, pay what you can or not. I like the thought. We have a security system from the state, which is great, I don't want to blaim that. But to be honest, it makes us also very lonely and passive. Nothing to fight against. Deep down I was always an anarchist. I believe in the power of people.

Reflections

Finally a day with sunshine and I went out to look at the view from my penthouse. High enough and away from the busy traffic.
I need to stop and reflect a little. Still I don't quite get that I'm here yet. But it's doing me good. I can feel it. The creativity is waking up in me that was burried for a long time. No pressure. Most of my pictures look terrible, but that doesn't matter. Just to bring the camera up to my eye again is a victory to me. It's still a long way to go and I take babysteps. In between I need to rest and listen to my brain...that is the way to go but difficult. Working on it.
To go away from the comfortzone is sometimes necessary to be able to look at yourself. To change things that are not good for you. Habits.
I write in my journal, I give myself guidelines to keep. I stumble, go back to read what I intended and get back on track. Over and over again.
It's so hard to stay focused and not to fall back. But only to be aware is a step into the right direction.
There are many things that one can do to feel more content and alive. Shut down media and stop to read the news. Start to write a journal, with a pen and paper, not digital. Be analogue.
Don't watch television. Read books. Meet up with friends and talk about life or don't talk, take a walk together. Be careful with alcohol. Sleep well and eat well. Care about what is close to you. Don't try to change what you can't, but what you can. Yourself.

Streets of Athens

No

We are all bloody good photographers, aren't we? With colours and all that. Phones, everywhere that I look. My camera is doing it for me, yes?...small, but unobtrusive.
What are you doing with your phone...really. Do you print? Do you collect? Do you honestly document? Anything?
No, no, no. No, no.  No.

Akropolis

I wonder about people going in the same direction and why. I find myself wanting to do the opposite. That means it's harder of course. I question myself and have to reflect and make an active choice. Never took the easy way. But I can't stop wondering why...for sure it would be easier to follow the flow. But how boring. No I skip Akropolis, just looking at it from a distance and taking my own picture of it.