Streets of Athens

No

We are all bloody good photographers, aren't we? With colours and all that. Phones, everywhere that I look. My camera is doing it for me, yes?...small, but unobtrusive.
What are you doing with your phone...really. Do you print? Do you collect? Do you honestly document? Anything?
No, no, no. No, no.  No.

Akropolis

I wonder about people going in the same direction and why. I find myself wanting to do the opposite. That means it's harder of course. I question myself and have to reflect and make an active choice. Never took the easy way. But I can't stop wondering why...for sure it would be easier to follow the flow. But how boring. No I skip Akropolis, just looking at it from a distance and taking my own picture of it.

My view

An interesting thing that strikes me is when you change perspective. At home everything is familiar, you kind of grow into a comfortzone that not is helpful all times. You have to get out of it, I know it's a kliché, but klichés are often true.
Go to places you didn't know existed. Take a different line for once. Fuck it, I wish I could.

Reminder

Arrived yesterday in a wonderful AirBnbflat. So much space here and an enormous terrace all by myself. So far, so good. Although the weather is gray, I long so much for the sun. Eventually. But I thought to myself to make the best of it, hey!?
Planned to take a walk to a nice area with a little help from Google Maps. That confused me even more and it turned out that I walked in circles around the block and that tired me out. Well, I did some shopping for cooking, making my little nest comfortable and secure. The area around the block is really busy. I live close to several hospitals and the sirens are loud 24/7. Glad I took earplugs!
The first thing I did when I got back to my place was putting this note up.
Just to remind me that what I feel out there is fine, no need to feel down because I can't do everything I want at the moment. I enjoy it anyway...as long as I listen to myself...

Trying myself

Painfully aware. I took a chance, booked a flight and now I'm here in this busy city. Looking at the map, all those places I would like to go to. Have to remind myself of the conditions. Take it slowly and be happy...

EVA

Eva, vi kände inte varandra alls och ändå möttes vi en förmiddag vid ett litet bord. Efteråt kände jag det som om jag hade känt dig i hela mitt liv. Du, jag älskar dig, fina vän.

Spring is in the air

Tussilago, Coltsfoot...the first one I saw the other day going to the gym. Spring is finally here. Slowly, slowly life is returning, warming up my bones, warming up my soul. But I don't have much patience at the moment. I want to go ahead of time. I'll miss when they sweep the sidewalks, which means the end of a long winter. I will not be here by then.

Slag/The blows

Dokumentären om Josefin Nilsson drabbade mig och många. Mäns våld mot kvinnor.
Jag är en kvinna som har drabbats av våld i två relationer - med kvinnor. Jag tror att, i debatten, glömmer man lätt bort att våld även förekommer i samkönade förhållanden. Det är ju ännu jobbigare att prata om. Varför? Jag tror att det har att göra med att man först får kämpa för att överhuvudtaget ha en homosexuell relation i ett heterosexuellt samhälle. Sedan kommer slagen och då är man tyst som en mus. Vad skulle polisen säga om jag hade anmält? Hade de skrattat åt mig?
Jag blev slagen gul och blå. Mitt hår drogs av. Jag slogs i huvudet mot ett sånt där gammaldags element. Hon tog stryptag på mig. Jag överlevde, men slutade leva. Bad henne att sticka kniven i mig, som hon hade i ena handen samtidigt som den andra knuffade ner mig i ett tomt badkar.

Idag lever jag i en underbar relation. Ibland tackar jag min fru för att hon är så underbar. Jag får nypa mig i armen. Såhär är det nu och hon säger: Men älskling, det vi har nu är helt normalt. Normalt. Inga slag, inget hån. Det tar tid att vänja sig.

Idag är jag glad att kunna berätta om helvetet.

The documentary about Josefin Nilsson hit me and many. Men's violence against women.
I am a woman who has suffered violence in two relationships - with women. I believe that, in the debate, one easily forgets that violence also occurs in same-sex relationships. It is even more difficult to talk about. Why? I think it has to do with having to fight first to have a homosexual relationship at all in a heterosexual society. Then comes the beating and then you are silent like a mouse. What would the police say if I had registered? Had they laughed at me?
I was beaten yellow and blue. My hair was pulled off. I was hit in the head against such an old-fashioned radiator. She took a stranglehold on me. I survived, but stopped living. Asked her to stick the knife in me, as she had in one hand, while the other pushed me down in an empty tub.

Today I live in a wonderful relationship. Sometimes I thank my wife for being so wonderful. I get to pinch my arm. Here it is and she says: But darling, what we have now is quite normal. Normal. No beating, no mockery. It takes time to get used to it.

Today I' m happy to be able to tell about the hell.

(Google helped me to translate and that is not always fortunate. Tried to correct it:)

Analogue child

I´m not an internet child. It makes me crazy, literally. Everybody has everything in reach with a touch. I don´t think it´s healthy, practical, but not healthy. Not when it comes to being creative. For sure you can be creative now as well, but you need to know your history.

I am an analogue child. Recorded my cassettes from the radio, top charts of the seventies. My records of vinyl, loved them. My first camera, a Nikon FM2 with Tri-X 400 ASA film. I went to the darkroom to develop the film. Didn´t like it because it had to be completely dark and I always had fantasies that someone would lay a hand on my shoulder and that scared the shit out of me. But it had to be done. Developing the photos was easier, not totally dark, but also a challenge. Imagine that you have to make an exhibition of fifty photos. That is a challenge.

I´m so happy that I have been analogue! So thankful to my teachers who taught me everything I know. But the technique changes like always and I have, of course, adopted the digital camera. But I could never had done it without my knowledge from the analogue days. I do the same thing today, but I don´t have to deal with the darkness anymore...